Setting Boundaries For Your Mental Health
Individuals are unique. We have different values, experiences, and, in turn, boundaries. In simple words, think of boundaries as an invisible bubble around people, whereby “trespassing” into this space would cause a great deal of discomfort and uneasiness.
Say you’ve asked a friend a somewhat personal question and they responded with: “I’d rather not talk about this at the moment”. That’s an example of a boundary.
Rather than get upset at others for having different boundaries to you or, worse, blaming yourself for having certain boundaries, it’s important that you accept boundaries as an essential aspect of one’s mental health.
In this Pacific Prime Thailand article, we’ll explore the link between boundaries and mental health, types and examples of healthy boundaries, and give you tried-and-tested tips on how to set boundaries.
What is a Boundary in Mental Health?
Boundaries are the guidelines and rules that you create to identify reasonable and permissible ways for others to behave towards you and how you will respond when someone violates those limits. It’s crucial to have boundaries as they enable you to say ‘no’ to things that make you feel uncomfortable, stressed, anxious, guilty, or a whole host of other negative emotions and feelings. As such, boundaries help you maintain good mental health.
Types and Examples of Healthy Boundaries
Let’s discover the different types of healthy boundaries and some of their corresponding examples:
- Physical boundaries: This addresses your body and the physical space around you. For example, you may not be comfortable with strangers hugging you or sharing a room with someone you’re not close to.
- Emotional boundaries: This addresses allowing another person’s feelings to dictate your own or sacrificing your own needs to please others. For example, you may be inconvenienced by constantly going out of your way to help people.
- Mental boundaries: This addresses your personal thought processes. For example, you may not feel confident enough to express your own thoughts and opinions – even though they are important to you.
- Time and energy boundaries: This addresses your time and energy. For example, you may be unhappy working more without overtime pay or annoyed at a friend being significantly late to your meeting without communicating this to you.
- Material boundaries: This addresses your personal belongings. For example, you may not want people to use certain items without asking your permission, or you may not want to share certain things altogether.
6 Tips to Set Boundaries for Your Mental Health
As alluded to previously, boundaries are there to protect you – whether that is by clarifying what is and isn’t your responsibility, enabling you to focus on yourself and live up to your values, and preserving your physical and emotional energy.
While you may already have a set of boundaries you live by, they may be vague ones and not clearly defined. But fret not – you can follow these 4 tips to set boundaries for your mental health:
1. Reflect On Your Values: Are There Any No-Go Zones?
As Elvis Presley once said, “Values are like fingerprints. Nobodies are the same but you leave them all over everything you do.”
Your values are what define you as a person, and shapes the things you say and do in life. Whether your value comes from your upbringing, religion, culture, personality, environment, or a mix of all, you’ve got to start by identifying them.
Once you do, you’ll know whether there are any no-go zones, which will make setting boundaries easier.
Alternatively, you can also reverse engineer your boundaries by reflecting on past experiences and how they made you feel. Are there any situations that make you uncomfortable, resentful, or guilty?
Do some people treat you in ways you wouldn’t treat them? Be honest with yourself and use these feelings as a guide to set your boundaries.
Note: As an expat in Thailand, your values may differ from those of your local friends or colleagues, so it’s all the more important that you reflect on them.
2. Tell Yourself That You Have Rights
When boundaries are violated, it’s often the people with low self-esteem that don’t have the ability to even accept that they have been wronged. That’s why it’s important that you work on your self-esteem by telling yourself that you have the right to feel happy and that your feelings matter.
Here are some examples of the things to say to yourself:
- I have the right to say no to things I don’t want to do, without feeling bad or guilty about it.
- I have the right to be treated with dignity and respect, and my values are as important as anyone else’s.
- I have the right to not meet any unreasonable expectations that other people may have of me because that is beyond my control.
- You don’t have to give explanations or feel guilty for prioritizing yourself.
- By setting limits on your commitments, you create space for activities that bring you joy and fulfilment.
- Remember that you have the right to decline requests or invitations that may overwhelm you or clash with your needs and values.
- And other statements tailored to your situation.
3. Seek Professional Help
Seeking professional health, such as seeing a therapist or counselor, can help you gain a deeper understanding of your needs and values, improve your self-awareness, and develop healthy coping mechanisms.
Professionals can also help you address any underlying issues, such as codependency or past trauma, that may affect your ability to establish and maintain boundaries.
Professional help offers a safe and non-judgmental space for you to explore your thoughts and emotions, gain valuable perspectives, and acquire practical tools to effectively set and enforce boundaries effectively.
Remember, seeking professional help is not a sign of weakness but rather an act of self-care and strength. It demonstrates your commitment to prioritizing your mental well-being and investing in your personal growth.
4. Take Care of Your Mind and Body
Self-care habits and rituals are a way for you to recharge mentally – especially on stressful days where you’ve had your boundaries violated in some way. In other words, engaging in self-care will help you look after your mind and body, and give you the strength to both set and maintain boundaries.
Here are a couple of self-care habits and rituals you could adopt:
- Begin the day with time to yourself – you could do some morning stretches, go for a morning run, or even cook yourself a nice breakfast.
- Making sure you get plenty of movement/exercise during the day.
- Staying hydrated and eating healthy, wholesome foods over junk food.
- Treating yourself every now and then. E.g. getting a massage, going to the spa, etc.
- Wind down at night by cutting screen time, journaling your thoughts, or practising meditation/mindfulness.
5. Learn to Identify Red Flags
Learning to recognize and address red flags in relationships and situations is an essential aspect of setting boundaries. These red flags serve as warning signs for unhealthy dynamics, such as manipulation, disrespect, or emotional abuse.
Being able to identify these signs is crucial for safeguarding your mental well-being. Trusting your instincts and being attentive to feelings of discomfort or unease is key.
If someone consistently disregards your boundaries, fails to respect your values, or invalidates your feelings, it may be necessary to reevaluate the relationship and establish firmer boundaries or create distance.
Remember, your mental health and self-worth are invaluable. Prioritizing your well-being means acknowledging red flags and maintaining healthy boundaries.
6. Disconnect From The Real World
In our fast-paced, digital world, it has become increasingly important to carve out time to disconnect from technology, social media, and work-related tasks. The constant exposure to screens and the digital realm can contribute to feelings of stress, anxiety, and being overwhelmed.
That’s why it’s important to allow yourself to recharge and reconnect with yourself. During this time, engage in activites you love, such as reading a book, watching movies, going for a run, or taking a short vacation.
By disconnecting, you create valuable space for self-reflection, creativity, and meaningful connections with yourself and others. Prioritizing these moments improves your mental well-being, and reduces burnout. It’s good to unplug from time to time.
Put Your Health First with a Health Insurance Plan from Pacific Prime Thailand
While we’re on the theme of self-care, well-being, and mental health, why not secure health insurance? Particularly if you’re an expat in Thailand, having a good health plan in place will enable you to go to top-tier private hospitals over public hospitals, without having to worry about sky-high medical bills. What’s more, you can also have peace of mind knowing that you and your family will:
- Receive world-class medical care, and benefit from state-of-the-art facilities and amenities.
- Get access to a doctor and/or treatments when you need to, without facing overcrowding or long wait times.
- Be able to communicate with medical staff in English (or possibly other languages) without facing a language barrier.
- Not have to deal with the dual-pricing system for Thais and foreigners, which is common in public hospitals.
- And other benefits.
Don’t know where to begin? Get in touch with Pacific Prime Thailand. As a health insurance broker, we can help you navigate the world of insurance, and find a plan that meets your exact needs and budgets.
Our highly-trained advisors are also there with you every step of the way and provide unrivalled support throughout your insurance journey.
Whether you’re looking for expat health insurance or other Thailand insurance plans, contact us today to get started!
With over 5 years of experience in the field, Suphanida spends the majority of her day synthesizing complex pieces of insurance-related information and translating this into easy-to-understand, engaging, and effective content across a variety of media such as articles, infographics, whitepapers, videos, and more.
Suphanida is also responsible for planning and publishing three whitepapers released annually by Pacific Prime: The State of Health Insurance Report, The Cost of Health Insurance Report, and The Global Employee Benefits Trends Report. Additionally, she handles the LinkedIn profiles of Pacific Prime’s Founder and CEO, as well as Global HR Lead.
Suphanida’s strengths lie in her strong research and analytical skills, which she has gained from her BA in Politics from the University of Warwick and Erasmus Mundus Joint MA in Journalism from Aarhus University and City, University of London.
Being of Thai-Indian origin and having lived, studied, and worked in Thailand, the UK, and Denmark, Suphanida also has a unique, multicultural perspective that helps her understand the struggles of expats and globetrotters.
Outside of work, she enjoys traveling to new places and immersing herself in different cultures.
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